Scene 1
Corporal Radar O'Reilly was rummaging through his office looking for a note, or a picture, anything that Trapper John McIntyre might have left for his friend Hawkeye Pierce. Although it had been quite a while since Trapper had been sent stateside, Radar knew that Hawkeye was upset that Trapper hadn't left him something. Trapper's replacement, B.J. Hunnicut, was filling in Trapper's place as a doctor and as Hawkeye's friend, but Hawkeye hadn't been the same since Trapper had left.

He looked in one of the many files in his office and found a bundle of papers and a movie reel. Radar looked through the paper's and found the lyric's to the song that he, Hawkeye, B.J., Colonel Potter, Frank Burns, and the rest of the 4077th had sung while watching the movie "My Darling Clemetine". Radar remembered his verse," The Corporals' in the army, they say we're mighty green, but ifn't weren't for us guys you'd be at the latrine." He put the papers away and looked at the movie reel. On the side, in small writing, was "Yankee Doodle Doctor". It was the movie that he, Trapper and Hawk had made when a general had wanted the 4077th to make a movie about M*A*S*H units. Radar took off for the Swamp to show Hawkeye. He didn't knock, as usual, and Frank, who was waxing his boots, stood up and yelled at him, as usual.

"Corporal, before you enter a tent of a superior officer you knock, you hear that, you knock. They could be doing something that only superior officers then yourself should know about."

"Like what Frank?" Hawkeye, who was tasting one of his homemade martini's, asked.

"Um..Well." Frank stuttered." What does it matter what as long as something happened." Frank stormed out of the Swamp, probably looking for someone to whine to.

"Thanks Hawkeye" Radar said as he showed Hawkeye the reel.

"Wow. I didn't even know we still had this." Hawkeye said." Thanks"

"I didn't even know you did this" B.J. commented as he looked at the reel.

"Radar, go see if you can put this on the projector. I want Beej to see who Trapper was."

"I get right on it Hawk." Radar ran off to Colonel Potter's office to set up the projector. Hawkeye and B.J. rounded up Klinger, Father Mulchahy, Margaret, and some others. They all went into Colonel Potter's office where Radar had the projector all set up.

"Turn it on Radar." Colonel Potter said.

"Yes sir." Radar flipped the switch and the movie began. A general pulled up in a jeep and started talking about M*A*S*H units. Then, the camera's cut to Trapper, Hawkeye, and Radar holding a sign that said M*A*S*H 4077th. They dropped the sign and to B.J. and Potter's amazement ( everyone else had seen the movie) were only wearing boxers, socks, and bathrobes. The three started to flex their muscles and everyone laughed. Then the scene changed to O.R. with Hawkeye and Trapper about to perform a surgery on Radar. Trapper kept honking a horn and when Hawkeye asked for a syringe, a giant needle was pulled out. When he asked for a saw, a long, rusted saw was handed to him. Radar sat up on the operating table and said, "Are you the Yankee Doodle Doctor?" Hawkeye responded, "I certainly am" and Trapper honked his horn.

All of a sudden the lights came on and the movie was stopped.

"Choppers!" Radar yelled and ran out to alert the camp. Hawkeye, B.J., and the rest ran to O.R.

"Hawkeye, I have to admit, Trapper is a funny guy. I wish I could have known him." B.J. said after 7 hours of surgery.

"Me too Hawkeye. He looked like a nice fellow." Potter said as he washed up.

"And he didn't leave me a note. Not even a little scrap." Hawkeye said. Then he ran out of the room, just as Radar ran in.

"Uh oh, I think showing Hawk that movie didn't make things any better." He said.

"Me neither." B.J. responded as he followed Hawkeye to the Swamp."

Scene 2
Hawkeye and B.J. are in the Swamp sipping at martini's

"He made this still from spare medical supplies. Just so we could have a few drinks." Hawkeye said sadly.

"Hawk, I know you miss him but you have to get over it." B.J. said, putting his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder.

"You can't just get over your best friend leaving Korea without leaving you a note! Your best friend B.J. Can you honestly say that happened to you." Hawkeye exploded.

"No. I guess I can't." B.J. responded. Before Hawkeye could say anything more Radar burst in.

"Hawkeye, I got him on the phone, he's on the phone!" Radar said excitedly.

"Who Radar, who's on the phone? "Hawkeye asked.

"Trapper." Radar said.

"What!'' Hawkeye said.

"I stayed up all night trying to reach him and I finally did. You'd better hurry I don't know how long the connection will last." Radar told him.

"Thank you Radar." Hawkeye said and ran off the Radar's office.

"Your a nice kid, you know that Radar?" B.J. said.

"Thanks B.J." Radar said.

Scene 3
Hawkeye is talking to Trapper on the phone.

"Trapper! Where are you?" Hawkeye asked excitedly.

"I'm back home right now." Trapper replied.

"How'd you get home?" Hawkeye said.

''I got transferred stateside and then I got some R&R and went home. The phone rings and Radar's asking if this is the McIntyre's and then the phone drops and then I'm talking to you."

"Why didn't you leave me a note or call?" Hawkeye asked.

"I did leave you a note. I tried to call you a few times.."

"What! "Hawkeye exclaimed.

"I left it in the still." Trapper told him, sounding puzzled. "Didn't you find it?"

"No. Hold on let a minute."

"Radar!" Hawkeye hollered.

"What?" Radar asked as he ran into the room.

"Go.." Hawkeye started.

"Check the still for a note from Trapper. Yes sir" Radar said and ran off.

"..Trapper." Hawkeye ended even as Radar left.

Radar enters The Swamp and told B.J. to start taking the still apart to find a note.

"Got it." B.J. said, pulling a small, rolled up piece of paper, from one of the many tubes attached to the still.

"Thanks B.J. Hawkeye will appreciate this." Radar said taking the note and running to his office.

"...so a replacement surgeon comes in to replace you. His name's B.J. Hunnicut. Nice guy, full of practical jokes, especially when there aimed at Frank. Yes Frank's still here. He thought he was going to be promoted and given command of the 4077th. But luckily a real army guy is brought in and replaces Frank. His names Sherman Potter, does a good job commanding but I think Radar's still a little broken up about Henry."

"I heard that." Radar said, standing at the door.

"Oops. Sorry Radar. Did you find the note?" Hawkeye asked.

"Yes. Here it is sir." Radar handed him the note and sat down on his bed.

"Hold on Trap, I got the note right here.



Dear Hawkeye,

By the time you get this note, I will already be stateside. Sorry I couldn't get through to you in Tokyo but Radar tried everything he could to get through to you. If, by a slight chance, the same thing that happened to Henry, happens to me, I'd like you to call my wife and tell her that I love her and the kids. I'll try to get through to you sometime but I doubt I'll be able to. Well, my rides here and I gotta go. You'll always be my friend Hawk and if you ever need something from stateside, try and get through to me at my house. You know it right. Bye .

Your best friend, Trapper John McIntyre



"Hawkeye, you still there? Hawk. Hawk!"

"It's O.K. Trapper, he just fainted." Radar said." He was really upset about you leaving and not leaving a note and when he read the note, the stress must have gotten to him. Uh-oh, choppers. I gotta go Trapper, Hawkeye says goodbye to."

"Bye Radar, Hawkeye." Trapper said and hung up the phone.

Radar hung up the phone and pulled Hawkeye to his cot, then ran out the door to alert the camp.


The End

Note- The events in this story take place a few months after the episode "Welcome to Korea" and shortly after the episode "Movie Tonight."